非常幽默的英語(yǔ)笑話

　　英語(yǔ)笑話你看得懂嗎,帶翻譯的你有嗎?下面由YJBYS小編給您整理的一定能讓很多人笑的英語(yǔ)笑話。

　　• 你踩到我腳了

　　Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven't even touched your tooth yet. Patient: I know. But you are standing on my foot! 牙醫(yī)：請(qǐng)不要再叫了，我都還沒有挨著你的牙齒啊! 病人：但是，親，你可知道，你踩到我腳了!!!

　　• 慢行

　　Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning? Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".老師:為什么你每天早晨都遲到? 湯姆:每當(dāng)我經(jīng)過學(xué)校的拐角處,就看見一個(gè)牌子上寫著學(xué)校----慢行。

　　• A maintenance man in a cemetery

　　• He is really somebody My uncle has 1000 men under him. He is really somebody. What does he do? A maintenance man in a cemetery.

　　他真是一個(gè)大人物，我叔叔下面有1000個(gè)人。他真是一個(gè)大人物。干什么的?墓地守墓人。

　　• 我還以為那是我的手

　　Absent-minded Professor: Heavens! Someone stole my wallet! Wife: Didn't you feel a hand in your pocket? Absent-minded Professor: Yes, but I thought it was mine. 教授：天哪!有人偷了我的錢包! 妻子：你難道沒感覺到一只手伸進(jìn)你的口袋? 教授：感覺到了，可我還以為那是我的手呢?

　　• 他死了

　　If you refuse to marry me, he swore, I shall die. She refused him. Sixty years later, he died. 如果你不答應(yīng)嫁給我，他發(fā)誓，我就要去死。六十年后，他死了。

　　• 幫我爸爸做我的家庭作業(yè)

　　Jimmy: Hey, Amy, aren't you coming out to play? Amy: No, I have to stay in and help my father with my homework. 基米：嘿，艾米，你不出來玩嗎?艾米：不了，我必須留在家里，幫我爸爸做我的家庭作業(yè)。

　　• 我不敢想象

　　Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from." 客人：“為什么你的狗狗坐在那兒老是看著我吃東西呢?”旅館主人：“我不敢想象，除非是因?yàn)槟隳昧怂��?jīng)常用來吃東西的盤子了。”

　　• 我不能說是哪一年

　　Palmist: The life line in your hand tells that you will die in a year. Customer: Good gracious! In a year? Palmist: Yes, but I can't say in which.手相大師：你手上的生命線顯示出你還有一年將會(huì)死去。顧客：天哪，一年后?手相大師：是的，可是我不能說是哪一年。

　　• 給我那個(gè)打贏的

　　Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then.服務(wù)員，這個(gè)龍蝦只有一只爪。對(duì)不起，先生，這只肯定打過架了。哦，那給我那個(gè)打贏的吧。

　　• 在電話本上

　　Boy: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" girl: "It's in the phone book." Boy: "But I don't know your name." girl: "That's in the phone book too." 男：我想給你打電話。你的電話號(hào)碼是多少?女：在電話本上呢。男：可是我不知道你的名字呀。女：也在電話本上呢。

　　• 粗心的教授

　　The absent-minded professor shouted: "Kate, come to the blackboard!" Another student says, "Kate is absent, Professor." "Silent! Let Kate speak for herself."粗心的教授大聲地喊道：“凱特，到黑板前面來!”另外一個(gè)學(xué)生說：“教授，凱特沒來。”“別出聲，讓凱特自己講。”

　　• 我可以存多少錢

　　Husband: Before I married you, I never thought of saving money.Wife: And now?Husband: Now I'm thinking About how much I could have saved if I hadn't married you.丈夫：在娶你進(jìn)門之前，我從來沒有想過要存錢。妻子:那現(xiàn)在呢?丈夫：現(xiàn)在我在想，要是沒有娶你的話，我可以存多少錢。

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