爆笑簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話
一個(gè)人的聰明才智會(huì)在幽默的談吐中閃光，并且會(huì)深深吸引他人。下面，小編給大家收集整理了爆笑簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話，增加幽默細(xì)胞，聰明的`你一定會(huì)成為閃光點(diǎn)。
爆笑簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話篇一：I thought I had gone deaf 我還以為我聾了
On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"
To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"
在一個(gè)鄉(xiāng)村路上，一警察讓這個(gè)農(nóng)民靠邊停車(chē)，說(shuō)：“先生，你意識(shí)到你的妻子在幾公里前從車(chē)上掉下去了嗎?”
農(nóng)民回答說(shuō)：“感謝上帝，我還以為我聾了呢!”
爆笑簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話篇二：Good Points and Bad Points 優(yōu)缺點(diǎn)
"This house," said the real-estate salesman, "has both its good points and bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm goint to tell you about the disadvantage - there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse one block north."
"What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer.
"The good thing about it," said the agent, "is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing."
“這幢房子，”房地產(chǎn)推銷(xiāo)商說(shuō)，“既有優(yōu)點(diǎn)也有缺點(diǎn)。為了說(shuō)明我是誠(chéng)實(shí)的，我將告訴你們它的缺點(diǎn)：往南面一個(gè)街區(qū)是一家化工廠，往北面一個(gè)街區(qū)是一家屠宰場(chǎng)。”
“那么它的長(zhǎng)處呢?”預(yù)備購(gòu)買(mǎi)房子的人問(wèn)道。
“它的好處，”代理商說(shuō)道，“就是，你總能分清風(fēng)是從哪邊吹過(guò)來(lái)的。”
爆笑簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話篇三：Calming your son 讓你兒子靜下來(lái)
In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing(吼叫)baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don't yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert."
A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended(稱贊，表?yè)P(yáng)) for trying to soothe(安慰) your son, Albert."
The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert."
一個(gè)人在超市里推著購(gòu)物車(chē)，一個(gè)小孩子在車(chē)?yán)锊煌５拇蟪炒蠼�。推�?chē)的男人一直溫柔地念叨著：”別激動(dòng)，阿爾伯特，別嚷出來(lái)，阿爾伯特，別叫，阿爾伯特，冷靜，阿爾伯特。"
站在他旁邊的一位女士對(duì)他說(shuō)道：“您能這樣安慰您的兒子阿爾伯特真的讓我們感到很不容易。”
男人看著那位女士說(shuō)：“太太，我是阿爾伯特。
爆笑簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話篇四：Secret For a Long Life 長(zhǎng)壽秘訣
A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch(門(mén)廊) .
I couldn't help noticing how happy you look, she says. What's your secret for a long, happy life?
I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never,ever exercise.
Wow, that's amazing, says the woman. How old are you?
Twenty-six.
一位女士走向坐在門(mén)廊的椅子上搖動(dòng)的小老頭。
我無(wú)意中發(fā)現(xiàn)，你是多么幸福，那女士說(shuō)。你幸福而長(zhǎng)壽的秘密是什么?
我每天抽三包煙，每周喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪食品，而且從來(lái)不曾鍛煉。
哦，真神奇，女士說(shuō)。你高壽?
二十六。
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