搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話大全帶漢語(yǔ)
會(huì)講笑話的人都是有好人緣的人，所以我們要多親近一些笑話大王們�，F(xiàn)在小編也來(lái)當(dāng)笑話大王啦!小編給大家收集整理了搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話大全帶漢語(yǔ)，一起來(lái)笑笑，收集好人緣吧!
搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話大全帶漢語(yǔ)一：Contented Married Life
令人滿意的婚姻生活
A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, "My wife makes all the small decisions," he explained, "and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in each other's business and never get annoyed with each other. We have no complaints and no arguments."
一個(gè)男人告訴他的朋友自己婚姻幸福美滿的秘密，“小事都由我妻子決定，”他解釋說(shuō)：“而我只管大事，我們從不互相干涉，從不生對(duì)方的氣。我們從來(lái)沒(méi)有抱怨、沒(méi)有爭(zhēng)吵。”
"That sounds reasonable," answered his friend sympathetically. "And what sort of decisions does your wife make?"
“聽(tīng)起來(lái)很有道理，”他的朋友深有同感，“有哪些事情由你妻子作決定呢?”
"Well," answered the man, "she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in, what furniture we have, where we go for our holidays, and things like that."
“嗯，”那個(gè)人回答說(shuō)：“她決定我申請(qǐng)什么工作，我們住什么房子，買(mǎi)什么家具，去哪里度假這些事情。”
His friend was surprised. "Oh?" he said. "And what do you consider important decisions then?"
他的朋友很驚奇的問(wèn)道：“哦?那么你決定哪些重要事情?”
"Well," answered the man, "I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increase our help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb, and things like that."
“嗯，”他回答：“我決定誰(shuí)來(lái)當(dāng)首相，我們是否要增加對(duì)貧困國(guó)家的援助，怎么處理原子彈等等這些問(wèn)題。”
搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話大全帶漢語(yǔ)二：
A burglar(竊賊) breaks into a house. He sees a CDplayer that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears avoice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around withhis flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?".He spots some $ on a table and takes it. Once againhe hears a voice "JESUS is watching you".
摩西和耶穌(雙語(yǔ))
一個(gè)竊賊潛入一戶人家。他看到一個(gè)喜歡的CD機(jī),他趕緊拿了。就在這個(gè)時(shí)候他聽(tīng)到有人說(shuō):“耶穌正在看著你。”他照著手電看來(lái)看去,嘀咕著:“到底是什么人在說(shuō)話?”這時(shí),他看到桌子上有些錢(qián),他又拿了。那聲音又來(lái)了:“耶穌正在看著你。”
搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話大全帶漢語(yǔ)三：
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
老師： 這兒有兩只鳥(niǎo)，一只是麻雀。誰(shuí)能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎?
學(xué)生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老師：請(qǐng)說(shuō)說(shuō)看。
學(xué)生：燕子旁邊的.就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話大全帶漢語(yǔ)四：
on christmas eve santa claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel. just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000nt bill lying on the floor. which one of them do you think picked it up?
answer: santa of course! why? because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!
圣誕節(jié)前夕，圣誕老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律師在一家高級(jí)飯店一同等電梯，門(mén)還未開(kāi)前，三人同時(shí)看到地上有一張新臺(tái)幣1000元的鈔票，猜猜誰(shuí)會(huì)將它撿起?
答案：當(dāng)然是圣誕老人啦!為什么?因?yàn)榇蠹叶贾懒硗鈨烧卟⒉淮嬖凇?/p>
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